"You know you are in UK when:
1. One out of 4 words you hear in the streets is "fuck" or "fucking"
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it fish & chips".
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
14. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
23. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
25. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street.
29. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it's amazing
31. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet.
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
42. You have a sink in your bedroom.
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacked potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms
56. You know there is a fair chance your house is filled with mould.
60. You have mushrooms in your toilets.
67. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You've bought something at Argos!!
74. You find normal that in clubs the ladies toilets are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
75. You feel like being a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
82. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread.....
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy "may contain trace of nuts"
91. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ...." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I'm a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
97. You have asked to borrow ten "quid" instead of ten pounds from someone"
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything Foreign."
"Only in Britain ... Can a pizza get to your house Faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain ... Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain ... Are there disabled parking places in Front of a skating rink..
"NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing of A 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not Removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by Watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations Were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of Plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious Burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in Accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
And finally.......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet"
But we like Brits anyway!
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it fish & chips".
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
14. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
23. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
25. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street.
29. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it's amazing
31. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet.
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
42. You have a sink in your bedroom.
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacked potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms
56. You know there is a fair chance your house is filled with mould.
60. You have mushrooms in your toilets.
67. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You've bought something at Argos!!
74. You find normal that in clubs the ladies toilets are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
75. You feel like being a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
82. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread.....
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy "may contain trace of nuts"
91. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ...." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I'm a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
97. You have asked to borrow ten "quid" instead of ten pounds from someone"
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything Foreign."
"Only in Britain ... Can a pizza get to your house Faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain ... Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain ... Are there disabled parking places in Front of a skating rink..
"NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing of A 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not Removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by Watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations Were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of Plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious Burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in Accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
And finally.......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet"
But we like Brits anyway!
